My dog is a weirdo, part one.

My husband and I have had Milo, our four-year old Cocker Spaniel, since he was eight weeks old and in that time we’ve discovered that he has quite a few interesting quirks. To the outsider (i.e. anyone who doesn’t have to live with him), they might seem cute, but when you’re in a hurry to get out the door and take him on his walk because Film4 is showing Lost in Translation in an hour and yes, you do own it on DVD and even if you didn’t you have one of those fancy boxes that lets you record TV, you still want to watch it when it’s actually being aired because YOU JUST DO, OK? but all Milo wants to do is slowly eat his kibble, piece by agonising piece, it’s not so endearing. Milo has a thing about eating his food at certain times. And by that I don’t mean he will only eat it if it’s placed in front of him at a certain time of day- I mean he will only eat it when his lead has been put on and we’re about to take him out the door. It’s as if he thinks that every time we take him out, it could well be for some sort of eternal walk, one in which there will be no stopping for food, EVER, and will only end when he dies from malnutrition and exhaustion.  Therefore he must savour this delicious last meal of lamb and rice -flavoured kibble. 

Another obsession Milo has is with licking. Research (read: five minutes on Google) has told me this could be to do with some sort of separation anxiety, but I really think he is just constantly amazed at this thing that comes out of his mouth that he can use to taste all these amazing things with. Like the living room carpet. And our sofa. And the inside of my husband’s ear. Sometimes he will lick to the point where even he realises how ridiculous it is, by which point he will have become so hysterical with all the licking that all he can do is loll about on the floor while panting and looking at us with the eyes of a serial killer. Sometimes I fear for my life, but then I realise that unless he figures out a way to lick me to death I really have nothing to worry about.